Everyone's Thoughts

"As I think and wonder about life, I still continue to look foward to that dream, while they watch from the sidelines... with a hidden agenda....."

Its not just me who ever thought about life & whats in stored for them. I guarantee you everyone living with capability of having thoughts has thought..... Whats next in life for me? No matter where you are in life, where you were in life... that has crossed your mind, cause it always crosses my mind. I wonder.. what do I have to do to get where I want to be? If only there was a map of life, or a quick glimpse of my future so I could see what I need to change, what I need to look out for and which way, what move to make. Some people just want to live an ordinary life, but me? Naw... that ain't for me, I feel I need the spotlight, the fans, I need it ALL! But most of all... I need the music, I want to hear my song on the radio, leaked on the net, and mouthed by the people, gives me a rush. I just don't know which way to go sometimes.. how must I start this journey of mine, who must I trust? Is this even the right path I am suppose to be focusing on, Is singing even in my destiny? Naw... Fck that, no question about it, it IS! Its something Ive known since I was able to talk... "Mommy, I'm going to be a singer." Exact words. Its like... if I don't make it.. I'll die. I know, I know.. a bit extreme.. but I can t help the way I feel, no opinion, FACT. I been to a spiritual reader before & I'm pleased with the results... I will not tell, have never told anyone & will NEVER tell anyone... the only one that knows is my mother because she was with me. Veryy pleased.. but which way do I go? How do I start? I guess time will indeed tell... But I feel like I don't have the time, I will not be 18 forever, matter of fact not even for another 4 months, by then I'll be 19 in 4 months, you see that. Time flies... so do I really have the time? You ever feel like your chasing a dream on a treadmill and your wondering when will you catch up to REALITY. I do.. But my dream is catching up to REALITY, I feel it. I know it. I need to speak to my spiritual person again.. she knows well enough that it scares me... Lol.. She even said "Miss girl, when your on t.v, don't forget about me, accepting that award.. Thank me please." Shes wonderful. I do know one thing, when I finally reach the reality to my dream, I will NEVER EVER forget the stuggle I endured to get to my progress. In all honesty I feel like MANY artist today have already forgotten the road to which they had to travel to get to success, I just feel like the fame is getting to their head & trush.. I would indeed name names but that would open a can of worms because the people in which I would name are some of y'all favorites :/ I dont respect people like that because you have to cherish the success and remember where you came from, me myself.. I'll stay humble and lovable forever beyond my success. I feel awful for the people who never find what there were made for, who die before finding their true purpose on earth, who gives up on their dreams because they have been on the treadmill for too long and people are telling them to "Get off already! Your running for too long, losing too much weight, you look sick, you wont make it..." Just sad. People please please, don't EVER let anyone tell you to get off that treadmill to the reality to your dream... no matter how tired and exhausted you are keep running! The negative ignorant people WILL tell you the wrong things, and they will try to be as nice as possible about crushing your dreams but still try to break you down, just like a Devil. Just believe in the Lord and all will be well, it might not come as fast as you want it to come but trust me... Ive experience alot of heartache but with the Lord always on thought, always in heart nothing can affect me. I laugh & smile and joke about negative things that people would cry about.. and people don't understand why, but in all honesty... I have no more tears, crying is too much energy.. I used alot of energy on crying.. just smile, laugh and joke it off. I cant and refuse to cry for most things that would sadden others... I like for people to see only the good, because when they see the bad they play on it to break me down, NO! I REFUSE, got the wrong person, when I'm sad... you'll never know unless I say so. I have trust issues but I seem to trust alot.. twisted. yea I know, but I cant trust people, I always look for the worst because I prepare myself. Just being honest. Life is something else.. I personally thing its a game.. in which later on we will be judged upon by the great Lord on how well we played this game of life, how will you answer? But until then, I need a map, a sign from God, SOMETHING... on which way to go. I kind-of think I know already though.. Do you?
-Miss Simone